Are there times when it feels like you and your partner have the same goal for your finances but are still struggling to communicate how to reach that financial goal? You are not alone! Everyone looks at finances differently and this can become extremely apparent when you are in a relationship with someone else.  Before entering into a relationship, we have each developed our own ideas about how we want to spend and save our money.  When we are not on the same page as our partner it is not uncommon to find ourselves in conflict because it is difficult to come together when we each want it our own way.  

We may also have differing financial goals or no goals at all, this may cause frustration in one or both partners.  This is where acceptance in a relationship plays a key part. By acknowledging that our partner has a different and valid viewpoint we are letting them know that we hear and understand them. Once we do this we can work together and set a goal that works for both individuals.  

There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to finances and that can be another cause of stress personally and in a relationship.  It can be easy to let one partner take control over the finances and “set it and forget it.” But this can have its own consequences.  By setting it and forgetting it one partner has essentially given all responsibility to the other and can go about their daily life without thinking about finances.  This may seem like it works for a while, but the other partner has taken on a burden that can feel overwhelming. 

When each partner has a say in what happens with their money they are saying that it does not matter who brings in the money.  By having this mindset they are creating a mutual power.  In therapy there is the belief that if you really are committed to making a change you will not go over two weeks without a session.  The same idea goes for making financial changes and decisions.  When partners discuss budgeting and finances regularly they are setting a routine of coming together and showing each other that they are invested in one another.  It goes so much farther than just money!