Are you a people pleaser?  Do you feel like you have to cave or give in to what other people want you to do or worry about what other people will think? Is it easier for you to go along with the crowd than to make your own decision and pave your own way?  

It’s normal to be influenced by others but when we let others or circumstances take our power away, we aren't really living out of our own decisions.  This can lead to living a life someone else wants us to live rather than the life that we have been designed to live.

It’s like the teenager who wants to fit in and compromises by cheating, doing drugs, or having sex just because someone offered or asked.  This teen may have strong internal convictions against these things, but if the pressure is there from the external outside forces, whatever they perceive them to be, it is hard to stand on the internal decisions they thought they had made for themselves.

Who Is Controlling Your Decisions?

Sometimes, it can be so familiar a pattern in people’s lives that they don’t even realize they are going along with the crowd.  They just don’t know they are making a choice to give up their power by making a choice they don’t even know they are making, that being to give up their own internal governing of their own thoughts and actions because of outside influences.

To identify who you are listening to, take time to step away from the situations that currently present themselves and ask yourself the following questions before taking action, speaking, or deciding:

1. What do I really think about this situation, independent of all of the opinions and thoughts of others.  Keep others’ opinions outside of your brain space, and separate your thoughts from the thoughts of others.

2. How do I feel?  Am I in agreement?  Am I angry?  Am I confused?

3. What do I want and need?  

4. What action do I want to take in this area?

You Get to Choose.  Choose Wisely.

You get to choose how you want to lead your life.  You have the free will to decide whether your thoughts and actions will be wise or not, whether they will move the ball forward or set you back.

If it feels overwhelming to you to have this newfound freedom and responsibility, remember that you don’t have to do everything all at once.

Simply choose one area that you want to be intentional about and see it through until the outcome you have impacted.

You have more power than you might think to make your life and the lives of those around you healthy and happy. 

Benefits of An Internal Locus of Control

Internal Locus of Control means that you believe that your own actions have an impact.

You gain confidence.

You get to determine what you will and will not accept.

You get to work toward end goals that are what you would like them to be. 

You will be less likely to get caught up with people and in behaviors that are not good for you.

You can stress less because you won’t be working so hard to meet the expectations of others who aren’t even living your life.

If we can help you to grow in this area of your internal power, please reach out: (541)275-0412

Written by Michele Croyle, Guest blogger