Are you missing it?
One of the biggest culprits getting in the way of your relationships is not understanding that person. We have a tendency to not care about the small things that another person cares about. This not only is harmful to the relationship but it communicates a lack of concern for your partner. The social media post, the football game, the ____ (you get the picture) can wait. You get the picture. You have a ton of things, literally thousands trying to get your attention every second.
I’m a fairly task oriented person, especially if I have an agenda. So when the weekend came and I had a list of things that I wanted to get done, I was focused on that… at the expense of my wife who had her own agenda. I started toward my task of working on the garage… essentially the pit of despair. After an hour my wife texts me… “where are you?” She is inside with the kiddos about to lose her mind because she was hoping to do some deep cleaning together. I totally missed it. All that was missing was a little discussion of expectations.
What was missing from this interaction was setting expectations for the time we had together. This little act of mentioning what was really important to me and listening to her share what is important to her would have made all the difference. I didn’t take her preferences into account! This means that I was solely acting for myself in time that is typically family time.
If you want to have a solid relationship, PAY ATTENTION TO THE SMALL THINGS! The reason is that the small things your spouse cares about are the big things to her. If you want to connect make sure those small things become yours as well.