Rise out of the ashes!
The mythical phoenix is reborn when it is consumed by fire and rises from the ashes as a new and changed bird. Similarly, there is a species of conifer tree that requires fires to open up the seed pod. Without the fire, that tree will not be able to reproduce. Our experiences can become the fire that consumes us giving birth to something different and beautiful.
When you find yourself stuck in a situation that you have determined to be more than you can handle... understand that your past is only a learning experience and it does not get to tell you your value, ability, passions, or limitations.
The way you think about yourself is the ultimate limitation of your present and future. The possibilities are endless and you can be more, do more, try different things than you have in the past. When you past calls to tell you who you are... Let it go to voicemail. It doesn't see potential or growth. All it sees is risk and limitations.
In your relationship, the patterns of communication do not have to continue. You can and will break them because you are strong and are not going to settle for what has been.
The mythical phoenix is reborn when it is consumed by fire and rises from the ashes as a new and changed bird. Similarly, there is a species of conifer tree that requires fires to open up the seed pod. Without the fire, that tree will not be able to reproduce. Our experiences can become the fire that consumes us giving birth to something different and beautiful.
If your perspective is that you are consumed by your experiences and that determines your value, ability, and options in life… you are right. However, if you see your experiences as opportunities to grow and become a better person… YOU ARE RIGHT!
Believe in yourself! I do!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please leave a comment and I’ll get back to you! If you want to process this in your own counseling journey, you can start here.
How to Repair your relationship after you hurt them
Anatomy of a sincere apology:
Take responsibility for the hurt you have cause by your actions.
I am sorry for ______ and the way it made you feel ______.
Validate the relationship and commit to trying to be better next time.
I love you, want to make our relationship work and never wanted to make you feel ______. I will do my best to ______ so that I don’t cause you to feel ______ for that again.
Invite them to relationship.
Please forgive me for ______. I want to start fresh and love you better.
This is a simple formula that is difficult to execute in an emotional situation. Our natural tendency is to turn away and be defensive. The point of this formula is to turn toward your spouse in the midst of conflict instead of turning away.