6 Tips for Finding More Peace and Less Anxiety

Have you ever felt like the world is spiraling out-of-control?  It’s like the news, the internet, and social media, and more have collaborated together to keep the bad news coming 24 hours a day, day after day.  In news lingo, they say, “If it bleeds, it ledes,” which basically means that the worst events should be broadcast or printed front and center on the first page or at the beginning of a news program.  With the media constantly producing content that bombards us with painful information and alarming trends, it’s no wonder that anxiety is sky-rocketing.

Here are some ways to better protect yourself from the effects of anxiety:

1. Turn off the news, and step away from social media- In fact, stepping away from all technology, such as phones and iPads, for a few hours or a day at a time can really help your nervous system to feel more peaceful and less on alert.

2. Cut out toxic people from your life-If the channels of bad news don’t keep the stressors at bay, consider removing yourself from relationships that also bring along stress, anxiety, and bad news.  If you find that you are drained from dodging rude, critical, demanding, judgmental, or doomsday news sayers, it is okay to limit your time with them, set boundaries around what can be discussed, or even make the decision to part ways.  Your mental and emotional health is more important than the destructive input from unsafe people.

3. Think about your thinking- Do you say negative things in your own self-talk inside your mind?  We all “talk to ourselves” internally.   Make sure to challenge any thoughts that are not true, good, or in alignment with the type of life you are striving to live.  Work to improve this internal chatter, and to make your self-talk healthy, flexible, and positive in nature.

4. Build a healthy routine for yourself- Dependability and predictability makes things feel safer. Work to schedule your sleeping and waking times at regular intervals, to carve out exercise, studying, working, chore, and relaxations routines for even more stability and peace.

5. Hang out with healthy, happy people-It has been said that we become like those we hang around, so make sure you build up your social network to include people who bring out the best in you, create optimism, and offer support.  You may just find you feel better just being you in their presence.

6. Take time each day to focus on the present moment- Mindfulness is basically a catchall term for things that keep our focus in the present moment so that the effects of life stressors can’t rattle us.  To do this, try breathing in and out and focusing only on the fact that you are breathing for about five or ten minutes at a time.  If chattering thoughts try to distract you, just let them know you will chat with them later and let them go as if they float away on imaginary clouds as you return to what you are intending to focus upon.  You can do this present moment awareness by focusing on how it feels to pet your dog or cat for five or ten minutes, what sounds you hear in nature as you take a walk for five or ten minutes, what you read in Scripture.  Practice making your own unique combination of present moment strategies for keeping yourself out of fear of the future and away from pains of the past.

Our counselors would love to help you with your stress and anxiety management goals so that you can experience more peace.  Contact us to get started at: 541-275-0412

Written by Michelle Croyle

A Guide to Meditation for Stress Management

Stress is a natural part of everyday life. In some cases, it's a good thing. Stress is your body's biological response to perceived threats, triggering your innate "flight or fight" instinct. However, long-term stress has negative effects on your health, increasing your risk for anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, and other problems.  

Veritas Community Counseling helps you find out more about how meditation can improve your wellbeing and how you can harness its power.

What you need to know about the health benefits of meditation?

Mayo Clinic explains that meditation is a fast and simple way to cut down on stress. There are different types of meditation, including guided meditation, mantra meditation, and mindfulness meditation. All of these different methods ultimately focus on centering the practitioner's concentration internally, ignoring external stressors, and calming down the mind. The technique requires focused attention and relaxed breathing.

Another unique type of meditation uses singing bowls to foster vibrational healing. Organic Spa Magazine explains how it works: Singing bowls resonate a pure sound, creating vibrations similar to those produced by the brain's alpha waves and bringing the brain into a so-called theta state. Theta waves are the same waves experienced during hypnosis and REM sleep and are indicative of a deep sensation of calm.

How to create a space for sound and vibration-based meditation at home?

If you are going to practice meditation, you need to set aside a quiet space free of distractions. Choose a secluded area in your home where spouses, neighbors, kids, and pets won't interrupt you. Start by cleansing the area using sage to eliminate negative energy. You don't want residual bad vibes cluttering up your space mentally when you're trying to meditate. You should also remove physical signs of clutter, which can cause anxiety.

When taking part in any kind of sound therapy, such as meditating with singing bowls, it's further imperative that you eliminate any auditory distractions. Practice in a room without external windows to avoid street noise. If this isn't possible, use window treatments like heavy curtains to block out noise. It’s also possible to double glaze your windows for keeping out traffic sounds.

Why you should get professional guidance?

Some types of meditation, like guided meditation, can be done independently. You can use apps like Headspace for assistance. Of course, prayer and connecting with Jesus can help you release stress, cultivate positivity, and reset to find calm. If you are interested in a more hands-on meditation experience, however, seek professional support.  

Follow the above guide to tap into the power of meditation to beat your COVID-19 anxiety. You can also benefit from meditation after the pandemic has faded away, using this ancient practice to bring more peace into your life on a daily basis.

Veritas Community Counseling provides a space where a client feels safe to explore themselves and their emotions. Reach out today for more info! (541) 275-0412

Guest blog written by Gwen Paine

Time Out vs. Checking Out

Something that has come up a lot recently, both during sessions and in my personal life, is the difference between taking a time out vs. checking out.  When working with couples I often have them take a time out when having an argument and begin to feel themselves getting emotionally heightened.  When I say emotionally heightened I don’t just mean getting frustrated.  A time out comes into play when you and your partner realize that the discussion is going nowhere because emotions are taking over.  Experiencing feelings is natural, when they take over they are no longer beneficial.  Go ahead and take a break then come back!

What often gets lost is: “What do we do during our time out?”  Great question because this is where we often check out!  Checking out is when we use distraction to numb ourselves.  This may look like watching TV or scrolling through our phones.  Feeling a little called out right now?  Trust me, I did too when I first took a step back and asked myself why timeouts were not helping.  We often think that taking 15-20 minutes to distract ourselves is enough to help regulate our bodies and come back to a rational conversation.  The issue I ran into was that when I came back after taking a “time out”  I initially felt calm,  but I was instantly heightened as soon as my partner began talking again.  Why was this happening???  Because I was actually checking out.  Instead of taking those 15-20 (or the agreed upon time out length) to intentionally regulate my body, I was numbing my mind with distraction which provides the false sense that I have taken control over my emotions again. 

When I say use this time out intentionally, that can mean a million different things, so don’t feel discouraged if what you do to regulate is not mentioned!  Something that I have found extremely beneficial, and clients have reported similar experiences, is to practice mindfulness.  If you don’t know where to start, I would recommend the Calm App or the Headspace App.  Both these apps can guide you through mindfulness practices that can help release stress and other emotions that build up during an argument or just throughout the day. You can also check out Youtube and look through other guided meditations.  Meditation allows our bodies the time and space they need to regulate and relax into a calmer state.  Many of you may say, “Meditation isn’t for me! I don’t have time to sit around and breathe.”  I felt a similar way to be honest.  I started small, with 30 second breathing exercises and body check ins and increased the time I could practice as my mindfulness muscles grew.  Focus on regulating your breathing while doing a scan of your body mentally to see where you are holding tensions (or any emotion).  See how relaxed you are afterwards!

I prefaced this as an exercise that I do with couples, but it works great individually as well!  We are busy people and are often defined by how productive we can be in a day.  This can be overwhelming for sure.  Take 30 minutes out of your day, and don’t tell me you don’t have time, because this was an excuse I used all the time.  Maybe you take this time out of watching TV or scrolling through your phone, and take a time out.  Intentionally connect with your body and emotions.  Reading is something I have loved doing since I was a young child, but after going through school and entering the “real world” with work and relationships, I found myself setting books to the side and saying I didn’t have time for them.  This felt true to me at the time, because as a child I would read for hours at a time, finishing a book in two days instead of two weeks like I do now.  How did I shift my mindset here?  I now use reading as a kind of meditation and mindfulness.  I realized that reading for 15 minutes a day is better for me than not reading at all!  Now, reading is my example, but I imagine you can switch out reading for anything that brings you small amounts of joy and peace in our busy lives!

With everything I have said, I would also like to point out that watching TV and scrolling through our phones is not always a bad thing.  I still spend more time than I would like to admit doing both of those things.  But if we can reduce it even a little bit, we can use that time to increase our ability to participate in activities that often get pushed to the side. 

Financial Stress in Relationships

Are there times when it feels like you and your partner have the same goal for your finances but are still struggling to communicate how to reach that financial goal? You are not alone! Everyone looks at finances differently and this can become extremely apparent when you are in a relationship with someone else.  Before entering into a relationship, we have each developed our own ideas about how we want to spend and save our money.  When we are not on the same page as our partner it is not uncommon to find ourselves in conflict because it is difficult to come together when we each want it our own way.  

We may also have differing financial goals or no goals at all, this may cause frustration in one or both partners.  This is where acceptance in a relationship plays a key part. By acknowledging that our partner has a different and valid viewpoint we are letting them know that we hear and understand them. Once we do this we can work together and set a goal that works for both individuals.  

There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to finances and that can be another cause of stress personally and in a relationship.  It can be easy to let one partner take control over the finances and “set it and forget it.” But this can have its own consequences.  By setting it and forgetting it one partner has essentially given all responsibility to the other and can go about their daily life without thinking about finances.  This may seem like it works for a while, but the other partner has taken on a burden that can feel overwhelming. 

When each partner has a say in what happens with their money they are saying that it does not matter who brings in the money.  By having this mindset they are creating a mutual power.  In therapy there is the belief that if you really are committed to making a change you will not go over two weeks without a session.  The same idea goes for making financial changes and decisions.  When partners discuss budgeting and finances regularly they are setting a routine of coming together and showing each other that they are invested in one another.  It goes so much farther than just money!