Will God be Mad at Me if I Go to Counseling?

Sally had been raised to believe that she could only trust her parents and church and that reaching out to outsiders could lead her into sin.  It was as if God was waiting for one misstep from her to disqualify her from the faith.  However, the Bible says that love keeps no records of wrongs and that God is love.  So, when Sally wanted to reach out for professional mental health care, she was nervous.  Unfortunately, there is a toxic belief out there in some Christian circles that implies that getting psychological help is not okay with God.  While a human counselor will never be the Ultimate Counselor as Jesus is, and trusting in anything more than trusting in God can be sin, God isn’t likely getting mad if you choose to go to counseling.  In fact, He likely rejoices when you find a professional who is ethical and skilled and can do their job well and show up to serve and help you.  So, if you’ve encountered well-meaning but misinformed people who advise against Christian believers getting counseling, you may want to consider how that advice is actually contrary to God’s character.

5 Reasons Counseling Is Okay With God

God made the brain, the body, and the emotions- He knows how they work and function, and He knows how they heal.  He know the spiritual and the mental, the relational and the internal, the thoughts and the feelings, and Genesis tells us His creation is good.  So, if the study of the mind, ie. Psychology, is the study of how our human brain, nervous system, and experience works, doesn’t it make sense that it works because God designed it and metaphorically wrote the users manual?

This leads to another fundamental reason that I don’t believe God is mad at you for seeking therapeutic help…

All truth is God’s truth- If something is true, we are to think on such things, and every good and perfect gift comes from God above, and God came for us to have life and have it abundantly.  If God designed us, and He gave us the Bible to instruct us on how to live this life best, then, we can trust His words as truth.  If science or psychology has hit upon anything that works, it only works because it is based in the laws of the universe, how humans are designed by Him, and how our systems heal.

So, if something truly works, truly heals, and is true, it is in the fabric of the universe, and created by God Himself, even the study of the brain.

We are made in God’s image, and Jesus is the Mighty Counselor- So, it stands to reason that some human beings would carry the counseling traits of God’s Holy Spirit.  For this reason, it seems reasonable to conclude that at least there are some counselors who have been gifted by God himself to comfort and come alongside others.

God’s Word says that “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” – God made us for community.  We are each members of one body, and each person has gifts to serve and minister to others as equipped from the Lord.  The Bible also tells us that two are better than one, as when one falls, the other can help him up.  

Finally, God’s Word says that there is, therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” – So, if you need counseling help, God already knows your need.  He is already with you right where you are, and He is not mad at you for getting support and healing.  He likely already has someone perfectly positioned to help you get your mental health care needs met.

Let us be that help from God to you, contact us at: 541-275-0412

Am I Being Religiously or Spiritually Abused?

Religious or spiritual abuse is a topic that is a tricky subject to discuss because the very nature of belonging to a religious community or subscribing to a certain belief structure can sometimes make it challenging to know if a legitimate premise of the overall structure is to be adhered to as a valuable and healthy tenet or if it is something that isn’t right and unhealthy. Since right and wrong are often the guidelines that Spiritual communities serve, it can get confusing as to whether those things that don’t sit with us don’t sit with us because we are committing some kind of human error or because we are actually picking up on something toxic from the human organization or any corrupt human beings in the organization that is contaminating something otherwise good.   

For instance, in the general Christian belief system, divorce is not something that is endorsed.  So, some women feel they must submit to their husband’s bad treatment of them so that they can do what is supposedly “right” in God’s sight.  The problem with this is that if the religious entity the couple belongs to does not challenge the husband’s poor behaviors and support the wife, they are actually going against God’s design of not enabling sin.  The abuse is that the woman God cares about is being abused by sin and being treated such that an “institution” is more important than the person, which is not at all the Biblical meaning.

Yet, left unchallenged, this can be confusing to people who think that if they just “suck it up” they will be doing what they need to do to be spiritually safe.

Questions You May Have:

-Am I Just Not A Good Enough Follower?  Am I Wrong or Are They?

-Am I Making Too Big a Deal Out of This?

-Am I The Only One Who Feels This Way?

-Would I Have Any Support If I Speak Up or Rock the Boat?  

-Could It Get Worse for Me In Some Way If I Speak Up?

Healthy Spirituality and Institutions Allow You to Disagree

God Himself gives each human being the free will to choose whether they believe in Him and want to submit their lives to His Lordship or not.  It is about relationship and not force or manipulation.  

If religious leaders are not giving you the ability to choose for yourself who you will serve and what you will believe, they are trying to take away a basic right that God Himself has given to you.  So, if that is something you are experiencing, run.

Here are other indicators you may want to look for to determine if you are being religiously or spiritually abused:

Questioning Is Not Allowed

• Forcing or Badgering Into An Action or Inaction Is Taking Place

• Leadership Is Not Open to Their Own Growth and Correction Needs

• Things You Say or Do Are Being Twisted

• Personal Accountability Is For Everyone Else but Not Leadership

• Leadership is Telling You the Way They See It Rather Than What God’s Word Says

Ways You Can Determine If You Are In A Spiritually Abusive Situation

• Pray and Look at What the Bible Says on the Topic

• Seek out and Speak to Someone Outside of the Organization Whom You Respect

• Keep Seeking Clarity Until You are Satisfied You Have The Information You Need To Make A Healthy Decision. 

• Tune Into Your Body.  Is your stomach constantly in knots around someone in spite of you trying to believe the best in them and give them the benefit of the doubt?  Do you wake with nightmares or feel ashamed and embarrassed for speaking up?  Take these as potential clues that something isn’t quite right.

Healthy people are willing to have a two way discussion where differences of opinion and questions can be tolerated.  If you need a safe place to unpack what you are experiencing and think it might be spiritual or religious abuse, please reach out to us here: 541-275-0412

Written by guest blogger Michelle Croyle

If I Believe In God, Why Do I Need Counseling?

It can be confusing to try to understand why a God who is all powerful and all knowing, and able to heal things instantaneously would not just wave His powerful hand and make everything all better.  While He can and does do this at times, there are often things that we need to learn and practices that will help to refine and help us for future purposes that He allows us to go through. Additionally, we are physical beings with brains, nervous systems, and emotions, psychological histories, relationships, and unique developmental experiences.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made and very complex.  If you wonder why you may need counseling even though you fully believe God could just heal you instantly, you may want to read on.

We Live In A Fallen World

Being human in a fallen world where other humans and an enemy of our soul exist can be challenging, and God made a way that we don’t ever have to go through things alone. If everybody lived spiritually according to the way God would have us to live there would be no problem, but because everybody has a free will, we are affected by others and need both God and others in our lives. 

 When God said in Genesis that it's not good for man to be alone,  I don't believe that was just for Adam to get his Eve but that humans helping and walking alongside other humans in life is part of God’s ideal design.  After all, the Bible shares the importantance for us that as iron sharpens iron we help each other to grow into the best versions of ourselves.  As we help each other out, we grow and what one person is not able to see clearly on or do on their own, may find that a helper has been provided by God for such a purpose.  

Maybe, Having A Counselor Is The Way God Is Presently Healing You

There are a number of Scriptures that reference getting counsel.  The Bible refers more than once to the wisdom and benefit of good counsel.  Jesus was called the mighty counselor as one of the first things said about him when he was born.  

It’s Not a Lack of Faith

Not getting counseling because you think you should prove to Jesus that you believe enough to be instantly healed is like not sleeping because you need to get more done for Jesus, not getting a cast when your arm is broken, or not practicing riding a bike when you want to learn how because you imagine and assume that God will just fly you to your bicycle and push you, and off you’ll go, perfectly balanced and riding fast.

Could it be that God is teaching us more than how he can be a magical genie granting our wishes?  Could it be that He is allowing us to be refined, to learn relationship skills like how to be vulnerable and real with others, or because God is training us for future purposes for His glory later by teaching us through the process of enduring and healing?  

It may also be that we need counseling, even when we are saved, because our hurt and pain and symptoms are routed in human relationship wounds and need to be healed in relationship, too. Plus, the fact that you really hope you have enough faith to ask this question is proof that it’s probably not a lack of faith issue but rather a physical or relational issue or skills deficit rather than a spiritual lacking in you.  Of course, there are spiritual components to things, but for the Christian, that battle has already been won. It may just be the human battles that need some human interactions and sanctification to heal and grow even stronger.  

We’d be honored to walk alongside you in your faith and your healing journey, connect with us here if you’d like our help. Call 541-275-0412 to set up an appointment.

Article written by Michelle Croyle