3 Ways Therapy Can Help You Get Unstuck and Why

You may be wondering how therapy can help you to heal and move into a life that would feel better, easier, and healthier.  While it takes work, therapy really can help you to get unstuck.

It has been studied and found that people often put up with signs and symptoms of mental health issue for approximately 11 years before seeking therapeutic help!  That is A LOT of time that could have been spent getting healing and being healthier.

Here are three ways that therapy can help you to get unstuck:

1) Therapy can help you to get all of the chatter inside your head out into the open in a safe space, and this can help you to process things clearer than you are able to when you are in the problem.

Why?  Therapists offer empathy and active listening, which is something so rare in our society today.  When we are actively attended to and heard, met with compassion and support, amazing things can happen that influence our internal meaning making.

In fact, it has been shown that more than 80% of the healing process is due to this unconditional positive regard and connected human relationship between the client and therapist.  Best of all, the therapist is ethically bound to keep everything in confidence so that what is said in the therapy room stays in the therapy room.

2) A therapist can offer you the tools and skills that they have learned to help you resolve your issues more quickly than you can do on your own.

Why? Your therapist has years of experience dealing with mental and emotional health issues as well as years of training to be able to provide you with solid counsel.  It’s like taking a car to a mechanic who can identify what a “ching, clunk, ching” sound is just by your sound effect description to them.  Therapists know what to listen for to help identify what might be underlying your pain or struggle so that precious time can be saved as they help you to hone in on what they are hearing you need.

3) Therapists can see blind spots that you don’t even know you have, and this can help you to be able to look at things from different vantage points and be able to get movement toward healing and problem solving much faster than if these blocks had not been revealed.

Why?  We each have our own personal worldview that has been cultivated over years of life experiences and influences.  It leads us to make assumptions as to what we are seeing, hearing, and experiencing as our brains try to categorize information it already believes it understands.  An outsider who is trained to listen for ways our thinking may be experiencing distortions can help to bring you a lot of movement that you may not have been able to glean and experience on your own.

You don’t have to go it alone.  Therapy is a powerful tool in your self-care and healthy self-management toolbox, but for it to work, you have to actually do it and use it.  

If we can be of help as you go about seeking to get the therapy you need, please let us know, and we can get you started: 541-275-0412

6 Tips for Finding More Peace and Less Anxiety

Have you ever felt like the world is spiraling out-of-control?  It’s like the news, the internet, and social media, and more have collaborated together to keep the bad news coming 24 hours a day, day after day.  In news lingo, they say, “If it bleeds, it ledes,” which basically means that the worst events should be broadcast or printed front and center on the first page or at the beginning of a news program.  With the media constantly producing content that bombards us with painful information and alarming trends, it’s no wonder that anxiety is sky-rocketing.

Here are some ways to better protect yourself from the effects of anxiety:

1. Turn off the news, and step away from social media- In fact, stepping away from all technology, such as phones and iPads, for a few hours or a day at a time can really help your nervous system to feel more peaceful and less on alert.

2. Cut out toxic people from your life-If the channels of bad news don’t keep the stressors at bay, consider removing yourself from relationships that also bring along stress, anxiety, and bad news.  If you find that you are drained from dodging rude, critical, demanding, judgmental, or doomsday news sayers, it is okay to limit your time with them, set boundaries around what can be discussed, or even make the decision to part ways.  Your mental and emotional health is more important than the destructive input from unsafe people.

3. Think about your thinking- Do you say negative things in your own self-talk inside your mind?  We all “talk to ourselves” internally.   Make sure to challenge any thoughts that are not true, good, or in alignment with the type of life you are striving to live.  Work to improve this internal chatter, and to make your self-talk healthy, flexible, and positive in nature.

4. Build a healthy routine for yourself- Dependability and predictability makes things feel safer. Work to schedule your sleeping and waking times at regular intervals, to carve out exercise, studying, working, chore, and relaxations routines for even more stability and peace.

5. Hang out with healthy, happy people-It has been said that we become like those we hang around, so make sure you build up your social network to include people who bring out the best in you, create optimism, and offer support.  You may just find you feel better just being you in their presence.

6. Take time each day to focus on the present moment- Mindfulness is basically a catchall term for things that keep our focus in the present moment so that the effects of life stressors can’t rattle us.  To do this, try breathing in and out and focusing only on the fact that you are breathing for about five or ten minutes at a time.  If chattering thoughts try to distract you, just let them know you will chat with them later and let them go as if they float away on imaginary clouds as you return to what you are intending to focus upon.  You can do this present moment awareness by focusing on how it feels to pet your dog or cat for five or ten minutes, what sounds you hear in nature as you take a walk for five or ten minutes, what you read in Scripture.  Practice making your own unique combination of present moment strategies for keeping yourself out of fear of the future and away from pains of the past.

Our counselors would love to help you with your stress and anxiety management goals so that you can experience more peace.  Contact us to get started at: 541-275-0412

Written by Michelle Croyle

How Your Relationship Today Began Before You Met

If you were to pattern your romantic relationship after what you see in a Hallmark Christmas movie, you might think that the scenario goes like this: girl and guy get together, another guy enters the picture, girl falls for other guy while first guy goes back to the city for work and she stays in her hometown for the holidays, girl falls in love with the second guy but that romance gets interrupted when the first guy comes back to town unexpectedly, the girl has to break it to the first guy that she’s no longer wanting to be with him, and the girl and the second guy get back together, kiss, and the credits roll.

Like a Hallmark movie, the relationship you see at the end has a build up to it.  There are many factors that play into the end result and the quality of that final relationship.  While not scripted, you might be surprised to know that your adult relationship is impacted by factors of attachment that happened in each person’s childhoods.

Secure Attachment- When individuals have a secure attachment in childhood, their later adult relationships are generally equipped to be smoother than those of other attachment styles.  Two securely attached adults can feel safe, secure, and stable both within themselves as individuals as well as in their closest relationships.  Healthy expressions of needs, wants, and feelings are all possible strengths that can help build mutual connection and understanding between those in the relationship.

Trust is easier to build, and the ability to face and negotiate stressors and conflict does not necessarily cause excessive drama as other attachment styles might.

Securely attached individuals likely had at least one primary caregiver who was present and effective in providing for their physical, emotional, and soothing needs in early life, which helped their nervous systems to be able to relax and bond in safety and connection.

Ambivalent/Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment- This type of attachment in early childhood to the primary caregiver leaves individuals uncertain, low in self-esteem, anxious, and fearful that they will not be wanted by others. This may present in adult relationships as being desperate to cling to attachments and uncertain of the stability in the relationship. Difficulties might arise when a typical boundary or time apart leads to a sense of panic, fear, or anger toward the other, a need for reassurance that things are fine with the security of the relationship, and plenty of attention from the other even if nothing has changed or gone wrong.  Guilting, jealous, manipulation, and controlling behaviors may play a part if not intentionally prevented.

This style of attachment likely came about because of an early caregiver who was only partially dependable and attuned to the needs of the child.  Inconsistency and unpredictability as to when needs would be sufficiently met and when they wouldn’t causes this style.

Avoidant-Dismissive Attachment-Those with this attachment style are cautious of depending too much on closeness and intimacy with others, feeling safest when they do not rely on others nor be relied upon by others.  Emotional intimacy is difficult for those with this attachment style and likely uncomfortable.  This can cause difficulty in romantic relationships.  Needing intimacy feels like a threat to people with this attachment style. 

The primary caregiver in this scenario was likely predictably unavailable to the child.

Disorganized/Fearful-Avoidant Attachment-Those affected by this attachment style experience fear that they do not deserve intimacy in relationship, with a sense that the world is scary and not safe.  This can lead to swings between valuing relationships and devaluing them, leading to dramatic patterns of extremes in behavior.  Unfortunately, this attachment style may lead to difficulty taking responsibility for oneself and one’s actions and extreme fear of being hurt again.

The relationship with the primary caregiver was likely traumatic for this child, unpredictable, and a cause of fear.

While your attachment style does not doom you to difficulty in your romantic relationships in adulthood, it may make them easier or more difficult depending on the attachment needs and wounds that are hit upon in each member of the couple.

The important thing is to learn about your particular triggers and pain points so that you can get help to learn new skills that can better regulate your nervous system to connect in healthy ways, no matter the point from which you started.

Help is available in therapy, so if you need help to overcome attachment wounds, please reach out for help: 541-275-0412

Written by guest blogger Michelle Croyle

Living from Internal Power vs External Pressure

Are you a people pleaser?  Do you feel like you have to cave or give in to what other people want you to do or worry about what other people will think? Is it easier for you to go along with the crowd than to make your own decision and pave your own way?  

It’s normal to be influenced by others but when we let others or circumstances take our power away, we aren't really living out of our own decisions.  This can lead to living a life someone else wants us to live rather than the life that we have been designed to live.

It’s like the teenager who wants to fit in and compromises by cheating, doing drugs, or having sex just because someone offered or asked.  This teen may have strong internal convictions against these things, but if the pressure is there from the external outside forces, whatever they perceive them to be, it is hard to stand on the internal decisions they thought they had made for themselves.

Who Is Controlling Your Decisions?

Sometimes, it can be so familiar a pattern in people’s lives that they don’t even realize they are going along with the crowd.  They just don’t know they are making a choice to give up their power by making a choice they don’t even know they are making, that being to give up their own internal governing of their own thoughts and actions because of outside influences.

To identify who you are listening to, take time to step away from the situations that currently present themselves and ask yourself the following questions before taking action, speaking, or deciding:

1. What do I really think about this situation, independent of all of the opinions and thoughts of others.  Keep others’ opinions outside of your brain space, and separate your thoughts from the thoughts of others.

2. How do I feel?  Am I in agreement?  Am I angry?  Am I confused?

3. What do I want and need?  

4. What action do I want to take in this area?

You Get to Choose.  Choose Wisely.

You get to choose how you want to lead your life.  You have the free will to decide whether your thoughts and actions will be wise or not, whether they will move the ball forward or set you back.

If it feels overwhelming to you to have this newfound freedom and responsibility, remember that you don’t have to do everything all at once.

Simply choose one area that you want to be intentional about and see it through until the outcome you have impacted.

You have more power than you might think to make your life and the lives of those around you healthy and happy. 

Benefits of An Internal Locus of Control

Internal Locus of Control means that you believe that your own actions have an impact.

You gain confidence.

You get to determine what you will and will not accept.

You get to work toward end goals that are what you would like them to be. 

You will be less likely to get caught up with people and in behaviors that are not good for you.

You can stress less because you won’t be working so hard to meet the expectations of others who aren’t even living your life.

If we can help you to grow in this area of your internal power, please reach out: (541)275-0412

Written by Michele Croyle, Guest blogger

Trauma Basics Part Four

5 Signs You May Be Affected by Trauma Memory

Jaime was feeling just fine when she turned in for the night.  It was a typical evening, and after tucking in her kids, she was looking forward to getting some good sleep.  Fortunately, the sleep was really good…until it wasn’t.  All of a sudden, Jaime bolted up in bed and noticed that she had not only awakened suddenly, but her heart was racing, and so was her mind.

Waking her husband, Jaime said, “I think I’m having a heart attack.”  At only 30 years old, her husband assured her that it wasn’t very likely.  However, Jaime insisted that something was wrong.  She jumped out of bed and called the emergency number to get an ambulance to come to her home.  Because, in her mind, since she didn’t want to die and leave two young kids without a mother, she had no time to waste; she needed help as soon as possible.

Once the ambulance arrived and she was examined, the paramedics gave her the news…she was just fine.  Her heart was normal, and she was NOT having a heart attack.  Confused, Jaime wasn’t sure she could trust them.  They told her there was nothing physically wrong, but that she was probably “just” panicking.  

Just panicking.

There was no “just” to the feelings of dread that Jaime was experiencing.  It was sheer terror in her system.  

For Jaime and many like her, her body didn’t know that she was actually safe in the present moment.  It sent her false alarms.  

Since our brains and bodies are wired through our nervous system for survival, anything that even hints at being a potential threat is enough to get our blood pumping and our system preparing to fight or take flight.  However, many times, the input is simply misinterpreted, and there is no threat.  The threat(s) to survival may have happened a long time ago, but the system responded as if the danger is a threat today.

Anxiety and Panic Attacks are just one way our systems alert us to unresolved trauma in our nervous systems.  The following are some other ways to tell:

An Exaggerated Startle Response We all get startled by something unexpected, but when the level of the startle response is more than the situation warrants, it can be a sign that our nervous systems are overly stressed and perpetually primed to protect us and overprotect us if necessary at the slightest inkling of perceived danger.

You find yourself withdrawing from others, feeling disconnected, numb, or in denial or disbelief

Difficulty Concentrating/Feeling that you, others, or your circumstances are not real, as if you are living in a dream.  This is called dissociation, and it is a protective mechanism where your mind closes out awareness and connection and focuses inward on protecting the self.  This is a survival and protective mechanism, but it can get in the way of enjoying life and really experiencing it in the here-and-now.

Your Moods Fluctuate Greatly- You may be doing just fine one moment and the next be triggered by something that really sets your emotions off to a heightened intensity.  Being okay in one moment, might give way at the simplest of things to rage, sobbing, or irritability. 

You have Nightmares- Sometimes, we can keep our pain at bay when we are awake during the day, but trauma can show up in your sleep patterns and your dreams.  If you are having repetitive nightmares, or you find yourself waking in the middle of the night for no apparent reason, have difficulty getting back to sleep, etc…. It could be trauma trying to alert you to take action or be prepared for something that has already happened or something that isn’t currently happening but feels like it’s pressing in on you.

These symptoms are not a sign of weakness but a sign that you likely have been strong for too long.  If you need help with any of these issues or the underlying traumas that could use attention and treatment, connect with us, we’d love to help: 541-275-0412

Trauma Basics Part Two

What is Big T Trauma, and What is Little t Trauma?

Big T Trauma

Trauma is basically the result of anything that causes a deep wound to the mind, the emotions, or the body.  So, when therapists talk about Big T or Little t trauma, they are not describing whether someone is wounded more or less than someone else, but they are describing the way in which the wounding to the mind, emotions, or body occurred and how it affected the nervous system of the person who has been traumatized.

When the United States was attacked by terrorists on September 11, 2001, Washington D.C., Pennsylvania, and New York City held the locations where planes crashed, but the effects of the shock rippled throughout the world.  It was one day of horror for many as a collective people, but for the family members and friends of those who were killed, it was personal.  For those killed or injured, it was even more personal.  Yet, deep wounding happened to all involved as a result of overwhelming and sudden events.  This is Big T trauma. One-time events with great effects of wounding to those impacted.  The attacks sent peoples’ bodies into fight or flight survival mode and resulted in on-going pain and recovery being needed, but once the plane explosions stopped, the cause of the attack was over.  The fight or flight system might be on high alert and extra-sensitively tuned to watch for indications of danger, but the rhythms of normal life could help the wounding to be contained as a direct result of an isolated day of  threat coming to a close.

Little t Trauma

Little t trauma is more the on-going assaults that happen the mind, emotions, and body in the course of life.  It still is completely devastating and wounding, but it is caused by repetitive, less defined attacks to one’s sense of safety.  Instead of a specific event, like a plane crash, that can be contained to location and date and time, little t trauma can be every bit as present but not as easy to classify as to when it started and when it finished.  

For example, a child may have a clean bedroom, clean clothes, sufficient food for adequate nutrition, and a caring mother, but if the child’s father comes home drunk and raging on a regular basis over time, this can cause trauma.  Even though a father is merely coming home to his family, the out-of-control, not knowing what to expect, wondering if yelling or hitting still can have as much catastrophic damage as a one-time event, but may even hold more wounding because it cannot be contained to one event where it all occurred.  It kept the body in fight or flight survival mode constantly over years.  This type of wounding can make it for one’s system to identify whether it can begin to heal or needs to remain stuck in watchfulness for potential threats.

Combinations

There can, of course, be big T traumas mixed in with little t traumas, and little t traumas that result from bit T traumas.  

The Point of Classification 

The point of classifying trauma as Big T or Little t is not to indicate level of pain, but to allow therapists and clients to understand the complexities of how bodies’ nervous systems are impacted and how to best design treatment care so that they can heal.

Each person’s trauma is a significant wounding, but the way each person experiences the effects and the way the plan of care takes shape are informed by the uniqueness of both the person and they type of wounding.

Contact Us if you feel you could benefit from treatment for your wounding experiences.

Guest blog written by Michelle Croyle

Trauma Basics Part One

Trauma Basics Part 1: How Trauma is Stored Differently In the Body

Trauma comes from Greek origin and means, “wound.” 

When we experience trauma, we are very literally wounded.  Some traumas will actually involve blood, scrapes, or broken bones, but many traumas do not show outwardly at first glance.  

Trauma can be something sudden and a one-time event, a series of catastrophes, or even a number of daily traumas over a period of time, such as in an emotionally abusive childhood.  

Trauma Memories Are Stored Differently Than Non-Traumatic Memories

Trauma memories are stored differently than non-traumatic ones because trauma is not consolidated as a “snapshot” of events that then get a “time and date stamp in the bottom corner.”  Trauma has the potential to stay in the fragmented parts in which it was encoded due to the body’s sympathetic nervous system, also known as the fight or flight response.  

During fight or flight experiences, the body is concerned only with surviving.  So, when the body detects through its various senses that there is potential or actual threat occurring or about to happen, it bypasses the logic area of the brain and goes straight to the amygdala portion which instinctually hijacks the system to do what it believes is best for survival such as jumping out of the way of an oncoming car or screaming frantically and punching at an intruder.  There is no time to waste in decision making, the situation is quite accurately a live or die situation, even if the threat of not surviving is on an emotional level, such as fear of being abandoned or rejected by a caregiver and not being able to fend for oneself.  

The Amygdala Goes Into Action

When the amygdala goes into action, it can be as if time slows down, blood moves away from the digestive system of the body and into the arms and legs, getting the body ready to move quickly into action.  Sometimes, this is enough.  Sometimes, it isn’t.  Oftentimes, the individual parts of the experience are stored not as a snapshot but as a memory of a scent in one area of the brain, a sensitivity to a loud sound in another part, or a feeling of heat, frozenness, or other sensory data in yet other places.

Non-traumatic memories are stored, dated, and forgotten until a person has a need for the information to be recalled.  Traumatic memories are stuck as if the threat is still occurring.  This lacks the time stamp to indicate that the threat is over, and this can result in triggers that remind the person of threat, even if the trigger is not connected to an actual threat.  For example, if a person is shot at as a soldier, they might feel panic when they hear a car backfire.  The nervous system doesn’t want to take any chances when survival is perceived to be at stake.

The Body Needs To Know The Threat to Survival Is Over

This is why therapy may be necessary to help the nervous system to realize that the threat is over and that survival is already a reality.  It no longer has to be secured at this time, so the nervous system can relax and switch to the parasympathetic nervous system, which is also known as the rest and digest system where typical blood flow and relaxed muscle tone, laughter, connection, humor, and friendships can grow.  No one has time for those things if a bear is about to attack.  But when there is no bear, having the body ready to fight a threat at a split second’s notice is exhausting.

If you need help to process your traumatic body memories, please contact us. We’d be honored to help you heal and not just know but feel that the threat to survival is over, and you survived.

Guest blog written by Michelle Croyle

Peace Keeping vs Peace Making

A teenager was sharing with her mother about an issue that some others were having in their relationship.  The teen was close enough to those involved that she was emotionally aware of the stress but not actively engaged in the conflict.  In trying to help her daughter to navigate such tricky relationships, the mother gave the following advice, “Just keep your mouth shut.”  

Of course, this mom was attempting to be helpful and to keep her child out of arguments, drama, and chaos, but what she actually was doing was advising her daughter to walk away from being a potential source of help and support to those about whom she cares.  Perhaps, by taking part in the conflict right outside her proverbial front door, she could actually help her friends in their resolution.  

While what her mom advised may sound like a piece of solid wisdom, it is actually, fundamentally flawed.  There are times that it may be wise or even beneficial to remain silent, but there are many other times where seeking to be a peace keeper rather than a peace maker is doing more harm than good.  In these times, peace keeping can be harmful, and peace making can be beneficial.

What is the Difference Between Peace Keeping and Peace Making?

The following are some Key Reasons Peace Keeping Can Be Harmful:

• Peace Keeping can be an avoidance technique that allows sin to continue unchallenged.

• Peace Keeping is an attempt to manage what things seem to be on a surface level and fails to address the deeper and more meaningful roots of issues where true growth can happen when these places are directly addressed.

• Peace Keeping can keep important information silent when what really would be helpful is for it to be known.

• Peace Keeping can unintentionally serve as a silent endorsement of something that is clearly wrong by omitting the opportunity to disagree and take an appropriate stand for something that is not okay.

• Peace Keeping can leave others alone as the peace keeper neglects standing up for people who deserve it and neglects confronting what needs to be confronted.

• Peace Keeping focuses more upon covering up conflict rather than truly building up those involved.

In truth, avoiding taking a stand or speaking up isn’t always helpful, but it may provide the allusion of being a good thing.

Key Reasons Peace Making Can Be Helpful:

• When truth is spoken, it challenges the lies and changes hearts

• Peace making is internally edifying in the peace maker and in those people and situations that the peace maker speaks truth into

• It encourages others to become the best versions of themselves

• A peace maker can help to break down the obstacles that get in the way of true connection with others, and this can open the way to health in the situation or relationship.

So, if you find that you are acting more as a peace keeper than a peace maker, I encourage you to consider the cost of that surface level peace.  It may just be more costly than you imagined, especially if confronting people and issues in an appropriate way now may save years of further conflict down the road for all involved.

Earning Forgiveness Is More Than Saying, “I’m Sorry.”

While forgiveness is something anyone can choose to grant to another person at any time, it can be much easier to do when the person who caused the pain apologizes well, but many people don’t know what an effective apology looks like.  If you are one of these people who could use some help to understand why simply saying, “Sorry” may not be enough, read on.  You just may become a high-quality apologizer.

When Gwen tried to tell her husband that she was hurt by something he did, and he responded, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” Gwen went ballistic.  To some that might sound ridiculous, after all, they might reason, he apologized.  However, to Gwen, he did no such thing.  

She didn’t want him to feel sorry for how she felt.  After all, her emotions were understandable given the situation, and while they didn’t feel pleasant to her, her feelings were a natural response in her body to an offense she felt was committed. So, she didn’t think that her husband quite seemed to acknowledge what she needed from him.

Gwen wanted her husband to understand what he did and said that resulted in those feelings and to own up to the pain he had caused her.  She wanted him to acknowledge how he hurt her, to state how he intends to fix the wrong, and to own his part as well as his sorrow for how he hurt her.   In these ways, Gwen would feel understood, cared about, and find it much easier to feel like forgiving him.

Gwen wanted to forgive him, but she needed more than an “I’m sorry.”  She needed ownership, changed action, follow-through, and to truly be understood, with some remorse thrown in for good measure.  Her forgiveness would not mean that the offense(s) was okay, but it would release both herself and her husband from bitterness and disconnection that may result if the wound weren’t to be remedied appropriately. 

Even though her husband didn’t think that he did anything wrong and knew that he certainly didn’t do anything to hurt her intentionally, his response to her gave her the feeling of being brushed off, as if what he did that she was hurt by didn’t matter enough to him for him to try to understand…as if she didn’t mean enough to him for him to try to understand.

This, of course, is not what her husband was trying to do to her, but while Gwen could choose to forgive him and the actions with the hurt he caused, she didn’t feel like forgiving because she couldn’t tell if he really understood and really cared to make amends.

Gwen’s husband may have felt better to say the words that he’s sorry, but she wanted much more.  She wanted closeness, understanding, to be able to trust him with her heart, and emotional intimacy.

While apologies can help with forgiveness, if given insincerely, they can do more harm in a relationship than good.  This is why, even if the perceived offender does not believe they have anything to apologize for, the very fact that their loved one feels hurt is something to attend to so as to not inadvertently cause such pain again. Listening attentively, clarifying, expressing intention, and offering amends can go a long way in this sort of circumstance.

When a wrong has actually been committed, owning up to it, not making excuses or minimizing it, expressing a willingness to change or improve in some way, and follow through, as well as saying the actual words of “I’m sorry,” can lead to forgiveness being a much easier undertaking for the offended person.

If you need help with effective communication in your relationship, we’d be happy to help.  Please contact us at: 541-275-0412

Written by Michelle Croyle

If I Believe In God, Why Do I Need Counseling?

It can be confusing to try to understand why a God who is all powerful and all knowing, and able to heal things instantaneously would not just wave His powerful hand and make everything all better.  While He can and does do this at times, there are often things that we need to learn and practices that will help to refine and help us for future purposes that He allows us to go through. Additionally, we are physical beings with brains, nervous systems, and emotions, psychological histories, relationships, and unique developmental experiences.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made and very complex.  If you wonder why you may need counseling even though you fully believe God could just heal you instantly, you may want to read on.

We Live In A Fallen World

Being human in a fallen world where other humans and an enemy of our soul exist can be challenging, and God made a way that we don’t ever have to go through things alone. If everybody lived spiritually according to the way God would have us to live there would be no problem, but because everybody has a free will, we are affected by others and need both God and others in our lives. 

 When God said in Genesis that it's not good for man to be alone,  I don't believe that was just for Adam to get his Eve but that humans helping and walking alongside other humans in life is part of God’s ideal design.  After all, the Bible shares the importantance for us that as iron sharpens iron we help each other to grow into the best versions of ourselves.  As we help each other out, we grow and what one person is not able to see clearly on or do on their own, may find that a helper has been provided by God for such a purpose.  

Maybe, Having A Counselor Is The Way God Is Presently Healing You

There are a number of Scriptures that reference getting counsel.  The Bible refers more than once to the wisdom and benefit of good counsel.  Jesus was called the mighty counselor as one of the first things said about him when he was born.  

It’s Not a Lack of Faith

Not getting counseling because you think you should prove to Jesus that you believe enough to be instantly healed is like not sleeping because you need to get more done for Jesus, not getting a cast when your arm is broken, or not practicing riding a bike when you want to learn how because you imagine and assume that God will just fly you to your bicycle and push you, and off you’ll go, perfectly balanced and riding fast.

Could it be that God is teaching us more than how he can be a magical genie granting our wishes?  Could it be that He is allowing us to be refined, to learn relationship skills like how to be vulnerable and real with others, or because God is training us for future purposes for His glory later by teaching us through the process of enduring and healing?  

It may also be that we need counseling, even when we are saved, because our hurt and pain and symptoms are routed in human relationship wounds and need to be healed in relationship, too. Plus, the fact that you really hope you have enough faith to ask this question is proof that it’s probably not a lack of faith issue but rather a physical or relational issue or skills deficit rather than a spiritual lacking in you.  Of course, there are spiritual components to things, but for the Christian, that battle has already been won. It may just be the human battles that need some human interactions and sanctification to heal and grow even stronger.  

We’d be honored to walk alongside you in your faith and your healing journey, connect with us here if you’d like our help. Call 541-275-0412 to set up an appointment.

Article written by Michelle Croyle